Closed for the Night

Recently, I have been allowing myself to open up more to the world around me. To the dancing of the wind scattering the long strands of my hair into wondrous tangles. To the patter of the rain on my back as I work in the garden. To the summer sun, with whom I have an uneasy truce. To the mad chuttering of the squirrels, impatient calling of the magpies and the sweet songs of the small birds who visit our feeders. I am able to do this from the time I get up in until the sun goes down.

From sunset to sunrise, I find that I have close myself off and down again, to anything beyond the safe walls of my home. I sense quite acutely now the creatures of my immediate and farther landscape. But for now I will not allow myself to extend, because I daren’t engage with the countryside in my county. The Badger Cull has returned.

I simply cannot bear to hear the silent cries of the dying or feel the agony of the wounded. I learned this last year. I am not strong enough to endure this once more. At sunset, I offer ‘prayers’ to the gods and spirits of the land that the Badgers do not suffer when they are exterminated. It is, I admit, the request of one who knows better, because there will only be suffering. No only for the Badgers killed, but for the members of setts decimated in the nightly carnage.

In the morning, I wake to the beauty of the sunrise, the bird song, the view of my yew and apple trees, but I am still haunted by the knowing that so may of my Badger kin will never know the feeling of the wind over their backs, the rain on their noses or the sun warming the entrance to their sett. I pause and as I give thanks for another day, I whisper farewell to those who have died during the night in a misguided attempt to control a disease that has by now in the land itself. harder still is that we will never know how many healthy Badgers died, and died in vain.


8 thoughts on “Closed for the Night

  1. Thank you for bringing me to tears with your words and the thoughts they contain <3
    This world has so much pain and so much to grieve. You are right that we have to pull back at times to cope; but that doesn't mean we don't still grieve…
    Blessings on your compassionate soul.
    Blessings on all compassionate souls.
    Blessings on the souls of all those who leave this world too soon through human action and inaction, no matter their species.

  2. Hello Aurora, Yes this badger is horrible, I couldn’t bear it myself. How does anyone do this??!!

      • Me neither! I totally understand. My way of (attempting) to change the world is through my words. Not as direct but we all have our purpose… I hope something shifts for you and people begin to listen soon.

      • There is great power in words that move through the heart and soul with the awen, as your do. I think we should never underestimate how people are moved though poetry, story, myth, legend and song. It is all too easy to keep hold of this truth. I look forward to reading your new book.

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